Merry Christmas With Love
by xforalways
Summary: All of Axel’s best friends, family, and boyfriend, Roxas, died in a car crash the day of Christmas the year before this one. AxelRoxas Oneshot. Based on Merry Christmas With Love by Clay Aiken.


A/N: I was listening to Clay Aiken's Christmas CD, and I had a cute idea for an Axel/Roxas. Rooftops will be continued soon, I just had to write something else for a couple days.

Summary: All of Axel's best friends, family, and boyfriend, Roxas, died in a car crash the day of Christmas the year before this one. Axel/Roxas One-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own nuffing. Except for my soon-to-be-mine Guitar Hero III. Christmas starts in seven hours for me. Merry Christmas guys!

I don't know why I put up that stupid tree this year. What do I have to be thankful for this Christmas? My life? Yes, my life is great. My parents, my sisters, all my friends, and Roxas, Oh God Roxas, all died last year when that drunk hit us Christmas morning. I'm crying. I can feel the water run down my cheeks, across my teardrop tattoos. They drip to the floor, splashing into miniature puddles of rain.

I've got to put another log on the fire, but I just want to lean my head against the window.

I don't even know what time it is right now. Ten? Twelve? One? Who knows right?

I'm going to miss everything so much this year. Kairi's eyes lighting up at whatever present she got, Sora and Roxas playing Scrabble and getting pissed at each other, Mom and Dad getting tipsy off of red wine, Marluxia and Riku sword fighting, Zexion attempting to read amidst the insaneness, Demyx trying to do a flip on the couch, Larxene trying to figure out how to regift her presents already, Selphie giggling at whatever Tidus says, and Wakka poking Namine because he's attempting to get her to laugh.

"_You never know what you have until it's lost." _

It's true. This year there isn't even a reason to put up the tree. I don't know why I did. I don't even know why I bought little gifts for everyone who died. There isn't a reason; I just needed to remember them.

I can hear some Christmas carolers outside. I should tell them to go away, that I celebrate Hanukah or something, but I have lights on the house. Might as well go listen to them sing. I'll let someone have a joyous, wonderful Christmas this year.

"_Merry Christmas to all who may dwell here,_

_Even though there is only one,_

_May the joy of the season surround you,_

_Merry Christmas, with love."_

Those voices sound so familiar, almost like my friends and family did when we would go caroling. That's the song we would sing as well. It used to be my favorite song until the car accident. I should watch from the porch because I'll be able to hear better out there.

When I open the door, all the beautiful faces of my friends and family appear. Kairi's gorgeous, shining eyes stand out the most, then I see Demyx and Zexion swaying to the music side by side, with Sora and Riku following behind. Mom and Dad are waving from the back, Namine is tickling Wakka to death while they're singing, Larxene is actually smiling, Selphie is laughing and smiling with Tidus, and Marluxia is holding onto Larxene's hand tightly. Finally, I see a warm, pale face come out of the crowd, Roxas, my Roxas. I forget completely what I was thinking about before. The music flowing from their mouths is the most wondrous thing I've ever heard.

My heart seems to beat again. It comes to life in my body. Giddy, exuberant, happy, words can never, will never describe this. I run to them and I touch them, feel them to make sure that they are real. This must be a marvelous dream sent to me by an angel. And Roxas. I want to cling to him forever.

Not even realizing it until now, I find myself singing along to the beautiful melody.

"_Merry Christmas to all that may dwell here,_

_Merry Christmas if even just one,_

_May the joy of the season surround you,_

_Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas_

_Merry Christmas to all that may dwell here_

_Merry Christmas if even just one_

_May the joy of the season surround you,_

_Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, with love_

_Merry Christmas with love."_

"Roxas," I say, "You're here. You're all here. I love you all! Merry Christmas! What else to say! Don't leave, please, I need you all here. I miss you all so much, it hurts for me to be here without you."

"We have to leave Axel," Roxas chokes out, "but we'll be back every year, same time, same day. Expect to see us again. We might even get to see you on your birthday. I love you to. I'll miss you until the day you die." He turns to leave, but then decides to turn around again and say something, "We won't ever really leave. We'll always be here. Right here in your heart." As he says this, he points to my chest and I feel a small warmth.

"Alright guys! Time to head back! Hugs and kisses all around." Mom and Dad say as they round everyone back up.

"I'll see you guys next year!"

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone shouts, and they walk away. As they walk away, their bodies start to fade. Even though their actions don't change, they get harder and harder to see until they are gone.

I feel myself sink into the snow and I am just going to lay here and think. Hot, happy tears run once again down my cheeks.

"Merry Christmas Roxas." I whisper over and over again to myself; I wish that he could hear me, even though I know he can't.

"_We won't ever really leave. We'll always be here. Right here in your heart."_

A/N: I really like this one. Ack! I don't own Clay Aiken's beautiful music either. I do have this CD though. All right, have a Merry Christmas/ Eid/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa/ anything else.


End file.
